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Happy 1 Year & 1 month Anniversary to Tina & Randy
Randy stop eating them tacos.. hang out with your girlfriend..
How Asian Are You?
underline the things that are true about you
1. Your mother has short-hair, curly, perm or dyed.
2. Your dad is some sort of engineer.
3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 13+
4. You ask your parents for help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
5. You hav a 40 lb bag of rice in your pantry.
6. You shop at 99 ranch.
7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attemping to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
11. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12. You or your parents drive mostly Japanese cars.
13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
15. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say..."
16. You know what a bok choy is.
17. You've gotten little red envelopes around Febuary.
18. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors.
19. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) everytime someone calls you (e.x Joy-eee-Yah!).
20. You have no eyelashes.
21. Idiot people try to impress you with Pathetic imitation Asian languages, like ever so popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc.
22. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
23. Your bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopus) were last nights dinner.
24. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invted the back scratcher.
25. Your parents hovered over your tired, cafine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "in China (or other native country), we studied even more.
26. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are asian.
27. An asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" well then, "Is that your sister?"
28. Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs, or both.
29. Your parents say "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!"
30. Everyone thinks you're good at math.
31. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs and wah's."
32. You like $1.75 movies.
33. You like $1.50 movies even more.
34. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever so popular lime green.
35. Your parents insist you marry within your own race.
36. either really really want to go to UC or really want to stay away from it.
37. you never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of oriental food.
38. your parents have never kissed you after the age of 10.
39. You have never seen your parents kiss.
40. You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
41. "You want a sterio?! When i was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
42. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
43. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and uncle."
44. You hav 12+ aunts and uncles.
45. At expensive restaurants you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
46. Your parents simply cut off the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good"
47. The vast majority of people related to you wear glasses.
48. You will most likely be taller than your parents.
49. Your parents have either made you play the piano, violin, or both.
50. You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
51. When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift.
52. Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the pink and blue stripes at the top.
53. Your family owns a tennis racket, golf club, or both.
54. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
55. The furniture in your house never matches the carpet, the wallpaper, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture.
56. You have rocks, leaves, sticks, and strange smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
57. You own a rice cooker or two.
58. You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
59. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
60. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
61. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "Grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
62. your parents believe in Fung suei
63. Your parents are very conservative and think that tank tops/halters/spaghetti straps show too much skin.
64. Every time your parents lecture you, they always make up excuses that relate to things you've done in the past.
65. You eat rice everyday.
66. You like Jin.
67. When you were little, your parents beat you with sticks and stuff.
68. The adults fight for the bill when you go out for dinner.
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